Tag Archives: Grocery Delivery

Oh No, Not The Guy With The Clipboard Outside The Grocery Store

I don’t mind going to the grocery store. It’s the leaving I don’t like. I dread the onslaught of otherwise unemployed college grads standing outside the exit who have been hired by some anonymous group to get patrons to sign petitions, support their causes, or give money to charities unknown.  The grocery store isn’t my place of charity worship. It’s… Read More

How To Stay Married Despite Your Husband’s Trip To The Grocery Store

We have no toilet paper in the house. We don’t even have tissues. I’m a staircase and two rooms away from a paper towel. And I can’t quite make myself use one of the towels hanging nearby. This would all be fine were I not currently sitting on the toilet, post pee. Pre pee would… Read More

My Letter To Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Dear Jeff: First let me apologize for this morning’s hugging incident involving the Amazon Fresh driver who delivered groceries to my home. He seemed traumatized and I know the fact that I told him I loved him didn’t help. I can assure you my outburst was the result of pure joy, not some sort of weird plot… Read More