My Letter To Gwyneth Paltrow Regarding Her GOOP Holiday Gift Guide

Dear Gwyneth:

Thank you so very much for the GOOP Holiday Gift Guide which was just released on your lifestyle website GOOP. You and your staff have clearly spent a lot of time carefully curating a list of the world’s most expensive gifts, like a $4000 juicer or the Harry Winston diamond cluster ring whose price is too high to list.

I must admit I’m a total sucker for a gift guide or holiday round-up. I love when a group of stylish editors get together and scour the world for the best and most interesting gifts so that I don’t have to. But most gift guides seem to be filled with really cool affordable items about which readers might not otherwise know.  But your gift guide is different, Gwyneth, in that it doesn’t include anyone and is wildly unaffordable.  Rich people so often feel left out, even discriminated against, but not this time. And that’s all thanks to you.

I was thrilled to see that your GOOP Holiday Gift Guide did not discriminate against the rich and included items really only meant for them. You clearly heard the call from your colleagues in Hollywood, your neighbors in Brentwood and your buddies from the Born Into Wealth Book Club when they said, “The world needs a gift guide filled with shit no one else can afford!” You saw that rich people need a representative, a gift guide ambassador if you will, and you took on the role with selflessness and compassion reminiscent of the soldiers on D-Day or the guy who found that vaccine for polio (poor people diseases, boo!)

I’ve always been a fan of yours even when others weren’t. I’ve always chalked the public’s distaste for you to a healthy dose of schadenfreude since you are perceived as someone who, not only never had to struggle, but who doesn’t understand that she hasn’t. I agree that it must be a total bummer when the parking lot at spin class fills up or when Fred Segal only carries cashmere blend, but that doesn’t count as struggle.

This brings us to the point of my note. When you start a lifestyle website, you are branding yourself a tastemaker like Oprah or your nemesis, Martha. But in order to really be a tastemaker, you have to have good taste. Good taste involves connecting with people, all kinds of people, and collectively understanding what they need, want and don’t yet know about. But your Gift Gide is a tasteless round-up of overpriced items anybody could find anywhere as long as they have an Amex with a high limit. Taste doesn’t equal expensive. Taste equals quality, creativity and a unique flair. A tastemaker knows how to find a needle in a haystack, or in your case a gem of an item anywhere from Hermes to Target.

So if I were to add one thing to the GOOP Holiday Gift Guide it would be good taste. It doesn’t cost a thing and everyone’s happy to receive it. Oh and by the way, that Hermes watch is ugly. Bad taste, boo!



*(Before you go, please hit the FB like button or tweet this letter to a few of your tasteful friends.)



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11 thoughts on “My Letter To Gwyneth Paltrow Regarding Her GOOP Holiday Gift Guide

  1. Love this letter. She has had everything her entire life and doesn’t have a clue about what it’s like for “normal ” people! Lol I just wish she could live like a real person one month to experience what it’s like to struggle through life!

  2. Ah yes, the true spirit of the season.
    Anyone who actually buys off her list has more money than sense. However, I’m betting anyone who can afford this stuff, isn’t following Goop.
    Know your audience GP!

  3. I must admit I’m not a Gwyneth fan either but I feel an element of social responsibility to be the voice on the other shoulder….. while I agree a $4000 juicer is not on my Christmas list, her list was comprehensive and offered a range of gifts with a range of prices let’s not misrepresent her intentions that is paramount to internet trolling!!!

  4. Those gold glittery sequin shorts (barely even hotpants) for aged 12-14? Hell no!
    1.4k for a juicer? These people are on another planet.

  5. I’m thinkin’ about taking a bunch of her goop and using it to stick her boney ass to a seat on a bus in Los Angeles..I’d be more than happy to dump all my change in the fare box and let her have an all-day adventure.. Bet that’s not on her gift guide.

  6. Well, while not a fan and I can see some of this stuff is just ridiculous (a backgammon set for $550?!) I will say one thing in her favour. The children’s toys are not divided into “boys” and “girls” – all of the toys could be for either and no distinction is made. For this alone, I salute her (or rather her company because I assume she didn’t actually hand-pick all these items herself).

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