My Letter To Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Dear Jeff:
First let me apologize for this morning’s hugging incident involving the Amazon Fresh driver who delivered groceries to my home. He seemed traumatized and I know the fact that I told him I loved him didn’t help. I can assure you my outburst was the result of pure joy, not some sort of weird plot to lure a gentleman in work shorts to my house for an inappropriate game of May I Help You Unload Your Bags?

Truth be told I was just so happy a man not only delivered groceries to my house, but that he delivered the right groceries to my house. My past experience with men and groceries involves me sending my husband to the market for milk and eggs and him coming home with a big screen TV and a time-share.  So see I wasn’t trying to accost your driver as he may have mentioned in the inevitable human resources report he’s now filing.  I was simply euphoric in a When Harry Met Sally, “I’ll have what she’s having” sort of way.  Because let’s face it Jeff, the quickest way to bring a grown woman to nirvana is by bringing groceries to her doorstep without calling her 14 times to ask her the difference between cilantro and parsley when what she really asked for was basil.

I suspect this is not the first case of a customer writing you to say, “Oops, I hugged my driver.” In fact, I’m fairly certain that every beleaguered, time constrained mother and wife greets her Amazon Fresh driver with the same enthusiasm as though he’s the Ryan Gosling of turkey bacon.  Truth be told, I’m not sure how anyone raised children P.A.-pre-Amazon. Because every time my kid’s school sends a note home with some random instruction like, “Friday is National Cumquat Day. Please have your child bring their favorite cumquat dish for the class to share, ” I no longer go into a scheduling tailspin trying to figure out exactly when and how I’m going to find cumquats despite having an already jam-packed schedule. I just click on Amazon Fresh and order some.

This brings me to the point of my letter.  I live in Los Angeles, one of the three cities with the Amazon Fresh service. Now that I use the service, I can’t imagine life without it.  My kids love opening up the contents of the green bags, the result of our pre-dawn delivery.  I’m cooking more (which my kids may or may not say is a good thing), the effect of the Amazon Fresh recipes which allow me to see a recipe and, from there, order the ingredients I don’t have. And most importantly, I’m saving time. In fact we’ve adopted a new motto in our house, “If Amazon Fresh doesn’t have it, we’re not buying it.”

In other words, Jeff, gone are my three grocery store weeks.  I’m not going to Trader Joe’s for hummus and kale chips. I’m not going to Ralph’s for paper goods and soda. And I’m not going to Whole Foods anymore for the organic meats.  I’m no longer opening the fridge at 3pm in a panic because I haven’t had time to think about what to make for my family for dinner because I’ve been busy making them breakfast and lunch. I’m not driving around with milk in my car, hoping it doesn’t spoil while I run into to the other market because it’s the only market that has that one random cereal my kid is currently in to.

Jeff,  I’m not doing it anymore. What I am doing is walking over to my computer, opening up Amazon Fresh and ordering my organic meats, that random cereal, the milk that now doesn’t need to spoil in my car and yes, cumquats.  And the stuff that you don’t have, I’m not buying. I’m not spending my life in a grocery store anymore.

So thank you.  Thanks for being innovative and helpful.  Thanks for saving me time.  I’m sure when you were a toddler in New Mexico taking apart your crib for fun, you never thought you’d grow up to be the patron saint of mothers, but you are. You’ve found a way to do what no other man seems to have done for mothers.  You’ve found a way to save us time. And time is the one commodity we can’t buy, except on Amazon.

Thanks for giving us groceries delivered to our doorsteps. Thanks for helping to get rid of three grocery store weeks.  And thanks for letting your drivers know they’re going to be hugged.  Because personally every time I see an Amazon box at my doorstep or the Amazon Fresh bags waiting to be opened, I want to hug somebody.

You guys seem to have everything and you make it easy to get. You know the difference between cilantro and parsley and you send basil when I ask for basil. And I don’t have to lug it all from my car to my house, only to realize I’ve forgotten one thing.  You’ve given me my time back so I can spend less of it driving to grocery stores and more of it at work, with friends, with my husband and with my kids.

And again, sorry about the hugs. Short of saying, “You look thin,” there’s really only one thing a woman wants to hear and that is, “We can deliver that.” So thanks to you and to everyone at Amazon for always delivering.






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8 thoughts on “My Letter To Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

  1. Check out their Subscribe and Save and Prime Pantry as well. Two more options that save time, energy and money. As a mom, they are my lifesaver.

  2. Although I live in a metropolitan area to which they deliver, they don’t deliver to my house. Still, I can get Amazon Prime, and that’s pretty sweet. “Hey mom, we’re having a Nuclear Safety Awareness Week next week, and I said I’d bring in the uranium.” Well, isn’t it so handy that Amazon carries uranium? Allow me to order some and receive it in two days.

    1. seriously, don’t you feel like your kids have to bring the most random things for school with no advance notice?

      thanks for your note. it made me laugh out loud!

  3. I bet Jeff Bezos appreciated that letter! Maybe he circulated it to his whole Amazon Fresh staff. Good work BS – everyone loves a compliment.

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