BS Rules On Manners & Etiquette:
It’s poor form to brag. Instead, allow others to compliment you then graciously respond, “I know.”
-When flying, eliminate uncertainty and sneeze directly on your neighbor leaving them no question as to whether or not they’ll arrive sick.
-When using a public restroom with no seatcovers available, urinate directly on the floor. It’s poor manners to sprinkle the seat.
-It’s unkind to speak poorly of others behind their backs. When criticizing friends and family, make sure to do it directly to their face.
-Judging the weight gain of one you don’t like isn’t kind. Noticing the weight gain of one you don’t like and telling others is conversation.
-Never judge a book by it’s cover. But do judge a child by it’s parents.
-When running into an ex, resist the temptation to brag about your life now. You’ll have more fun sincerely asking, “I’m sorry. Who are you?”
-It’s impolite to break wind in public. When faced with the need, release it quietly while making a horrified look in a stranger’s direction.
-Wash your hands right after using the powder room, unless you’re dining with someone you don’t like. Then a wash-free handshake is in order.
-Whispering isn’t kind. When speaking poorly about others in public, look to see if they’re nearby. If so, speak up so they can hear you.
-After receiving a gift, it’s customary to write a thank you note. After receiving a bad gift, it’s customary to send the gift back.
-Always say please and thank you, especially to your childless relatives of questionable sexual orientation whose will could go to you.