A Mother’s Prayer For Spring Break

Dear God,

Thank you so much for making Spring Break two weeks. When I was a child, my mother only got to spend all her waking spring time hours with me for one week. Thank you for extending the duration of spring time we mothers can get nothing done from one to two weeks. And I am humbled by your decision to make the school year shorter and shorter each year, a decision that either encourages children to become stupid or their mothers to become alcoholics.

It is with gratitude that I wish to acknowledge you for giving my two children two separate Spring Breaks giving me quality time with each. I usually reserve my daytime hours for toiling at useless tasks like making money, but you have shown me the err of my ways and rendered me completely unproductive for nearly a month. Thank you Lord for this gift of time. Or in this case, a lack there of.

Please grant me the patience to survive this Spring Break. When asked what they wanted to do for Spring Break my children responded, “Be with you!” While some could see this as some sort of punishment, I recognize that you have a bigger plan for me. You want me to see that I can overcome the urge to sell my children after listening to them overuse the words, “Stop it” and “It wasn’t me” for two whole weeks.

Oh Lord, I wish for kindness over the next few weeks, especially from my children. Please remind them to use inside voices, to remember where they put their shoes and to stop telling me I look pregnant but that it’s “Beautiful.” Please encourage my children to eat their dinner, not their boogers. And please enlighten my children to the fact that if they get to use the words, “I’m bored” over Spring Break, than so do I.

Lord, tell my children we’ve had a bountiful year. We are fortunate to have food on the table and a roof over our heads. Let them remember that when they say the dinner I spent 45 minutes making is yucky.  And do let them know they’re allowed to use all the rooms of our house, not just the one I’m currently in.

Please God, allow me to have a bowel movement in private.

And kindly let me get dressed without one of my children saying, “Why do you have soft stuff on your legs?”

And might you ask my husband to call from work at a different time than exactly the wrong time.

Please remind my children that food belongs on the table, not on the floor.

And may you remind my children that there are only three words a mother dreads to hear from her children during Spring Break. Those words are, “Play with me.”

And last but not least dear Lord, remind me of this prayer next year at about this time when I decide our family doesn’t need to take a trip nor do my children need to be enrolled in day camp because all we need is to, “spend time together.” This is a stupid thing to say lord, so please don’t let me say it again. So grant me the intelligence and foresight to know that as much as I love my children, I love them even more after they’ve used up each and every last bit of energy under the care of someone else.

Thank you.

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