Tag Archives: Gwyneth Paltrow

Elle Magazine This Is How I Start My Day Since You Didn’t Ask

Dear Elle Magazine, Don’t worry. I’m not offended. You’ve been asking women, whom you refer to as “influential in a variety of industries,” to share a typical day of “eats and fitness.” Your goal is to show how they balance their hectic lives influencing people with the demands of their eats and fitness regimes. And… Read More

Potato Chips & Everything Else I Needed To Survive The Goop 2016 Detox Cleanse

There are a few things you’ll need to know about me before we begin. First, I don’t hate Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I resisted joining the dog pile on Gwyneth bandwagon even when it seemed like everyone else was already there. I held out strong making comments like, “Okay so she thinks housewives should by… Read More

My Letter To Gwyneth Paltrow Regarding Her Suggestion I Poop Soup

Dear Gwyneth: Boy, that V-steam was fun. Okay, confession alert. I didn’t actually steam my vagina. I went to make an appointment, but then my vagina started to whimper and ask why it was being punished. It promised to be good and not use bathroom words anymore, so I figured that was enough of a… Read More

My Letter To Gwyneth Paltrow Regarding Her Suggestion To Steam My Vagina

Dear Gwyneth, As you know, I absolutely loved your GOOP Holiday Gift Guide. It was so accessible and relevant proving that you’re just one of the girls, if the girls had never had a job or a budget. I love that GOOP is like a very expensive public service message offering an unattainable lifestyle with… Read More

My Letter To Gwyneth Paltrow Regarding Her GOOP Holiday Gift Guide

Dear Gwyneth: Thank you so very much for the GOOP Holiday Gift Guide which was just released on your lifestyle website GOOP. You and your staff have clearly spent a lot of time carefully curating a list of the world’s most expensive gifts, like a $4000 juicer or the Harry Winston diamond cluster ring whose… Read More