My Letter To Kellyanne Conway Regarding Her Gucci Coat

Dear Kellyanne-

Well, thank goodness you’ve let the coat out of the bag. I’d managed to keep my mouth shut about Gucci Coatgate for 6 whole days. That was tough. While the rest of the world was commenting, meme’ing, and Tweet’ing about your red, white, and blue Inauguration Day coat (made by Gucci), I remained silent. As you know, silence is difficult for me. After all, I don’t just talk in my sleep. I criticize.

But, I was actually offended by the world’s dog piling on your fashion. Dog pile on your actions? Yup. Your Elton John inspired coat? Well, no. I supported you as one gal to another. I kept my thoughts, which I will admit were not kind, to myself regarding said coat because I felt like women shouldn’t comment on other women’s appearances. We’ve got enough men doing that to us already. We don’t need to coat shame any woman, even if that woman lives somewhere in the neighborhood of the nine rings of hell and may have systematically helped get everybody’s sexist, racist, pre-dementia Grandpa elected president.

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This past week, Kellyanne, you commented on the coat to the Hollywood Reporter. You said the coat, which was designed by Gucci designer Alessandro Michele and was inspired by the not-in-America city of London was “Trump revolutionary wear.” Did you mean revolutionary war, Kellyanne? I got confused.

And is revolutionary wear code for expensive? Because what revolution are you and Trump a part of? Can a rich, white, male billionaire be a part of a revolution? How does that work? Does he just shout at himself? Or does he invite his other white, rich bros over and they each tell the rich white guy to the right that he is the problem?

But the real issue with your comment about something as frivolous as a coat was your response to your coat’s critics. You said you were, “sorry to offend the black-stretch-pants women of America with a little color.”

So.

Kellyanne.

Here’s how this goes.

I was neither offended by your coat, nor do I wear black stretch pants. In fact, I don’t think anyone was offended by your coat. We are offended by your candidate. Your coat, we just think that’s ugly. Myself, and many other women, kept that to ourselves because we want to respect other women, even if we don’t respect their politics.

Quite frankly Kellyanne, up until this point, I thought you were a really bright, savvy, force to be reckoned with who happens to support a person I find reprehensible. But when you make nasty comments in the pejorative about other women as if to imply anyone who doesn’t like your attire is a fat slob in stretch pants, well now I just think you’re a dick.

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I know it’s hard to believe, but in America it’s okay to disagree about anything including something as silly as a coat. What it’s not okay to do is be one of the country’s most powerful women and demoralize and dehumanize other women. You may not support us, but you are one of us.

And the good news is Kellyanne, in a few short years you’ll be able to wear whatever you want without comment because no one will care what you’re wearing. That’s when the real revolution will have begun.

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