• Thanks Lululemon For Letting My Husband’s Balls Breath

    Man's Hand In White Shirt With Cufflink

    Dear Lululemon, First let me apologize. It’s been a while since we’ve been in touch. I had written you a letter a while back expressing my gratitude for your line of yoga pants that seemed to be missing the crotch. I had the opportunity to wear a pair of those translucent workout pants to my… Read More

  • A Mother’s Prayer For Spring Break

    Woman feeling freedom surrounded by autumn colors.

    Dear God, Thank you so much for making Spring Break two weeks. When I was a child, my mother only got to spend all her waking spring time hours with me for one week. Thank you for extending the duration of spring time we mothers can get nothing done from one to two weeks. And… Read More

  • My Letter To Eva Mendes Who Thinks Women Wearing Sweatpants Cause Divorce

    Fit man in towel, isolated on white background

    Hey Eva: In general, I’m prone to writing kindly written letters to helpful celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow who have made it their life’s mission to make the world a better place. I like to give them positive feedback on their good works like accomplishing little on reality TV or using the word… Read More

  • The Battle Of The Toilet Paper Roll Going On In My House

    Cute kitten playing with roll of toilet paper,  on gray backgrou

    When I was little, my family had a cat named Ramona. My Mom didn’t want any pets in the house, or at all, so Ramona was forced to live outside.  We can debate the harshness of forcing a wild animal to actually live in the wild, or on the lawn in the backyard of my… Read More